


Optimal Ice Cream

by boy1dr



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Date Night, Fluff, Ice Cream, M/M, Movie Night, Multi, Tim doesn't know how to use doors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:18:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8152069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boy1dr/pseuds/boy1dr
Summary: Based on the tumblr prompt “Who crawls through someone’s window at 4am to go for ice cream?!”





	

**Author's Note:**

> So...I'm still sick, but working on prompts and stuff to keep myself at least semi-productive! Also I'm in DickTimKon hell.

Conner yelped and hid his face in Dick’s shoulder, both his arms wrapped tightly around Dick.

“You said this wasn’t a horror movie!” he said, voice muffled in Dick’s shirt.

“Technically it’s dark fantasy.”

“Technicalities don’t make it any less scary,” Kon said. He snuggled in a little closer to Dick.

“C’mon, this is the best part,” Dick said. Conner turned his head just a little, enough to see the tall, pale creature on screen lift its hands to where its eyes should be.

“It has eyes. In its HANDS.”

“We’ve fought way creepier stuff,” Dick said. He still leaned a little closer, putting a protective arm around Kon’s shoulders.

“You’re just making me watch this so I’ll get scared and cuddle.”

Dick shrugged. “It’s a bonus. You’re warm. Actually...” He waggled his eyebrows. “You’re hot.” 

Conner snorted. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t. You love me,” Dick said.

“Hmph. Fine.” He lifted his head to kiss Dick’s cheek. “I do.”

Dick pressed pause. He turned, smiling, and leaned forward. Just before their lips met, there was a crash. Conner jumped.

“God, Dick! Can’t you buy curtains that don’t try to strangle me?” a voice said, muffled by the curtains.

“Hey Tim,” Dick and Kon said in unison.

Tim finally disentangled himself from the curtains and plopped himself down so he was equally on Dick and Kon’s laps.

“So, ice cream?”

“Who crawls through someone’s window at 4 am to go for ice cream?!” Conner said.

“Obviously Tim,” Dick said. He turned to Tim. “You know it’s our date night, right?”

“Well duh,” Tim said. “That’s why I’m crashing. Both my boys for the price of one.”

“Excuse you,” Dick said, “You’re still paying for both of our ice cream.”

Tim grinned and rolled his eyes. Dick and Conner shot each other a look and swooped in to each kiss one of his cheeks.

“Guys!” Tim said, giggling. Dick cupped Tim’s cheek with one hand, turning him towards him for a kiss and wrapping his other arm around his waist.

“Hey Babybird,” Dick murmured, only a breath away from his lips.

“Hey yourself,” Tim said, then kissed him again. He turned to Conner and kissed him too, slow and sweet.

“Excuse me,” Dick said. “I believe you interrupted something.” He grinned at Tim and then pulled Conner over by the collar. “You owe me a kiss, good sir.”

“I believe I do,” Conner said, leaning forward to meet Dick’s smiling lips.

“So someone said ice cream?” Dick said as soon as Kon pulled away.

Kon snorted. “One track mind much?”

“You. Me. Other you. Ice cream. Now,” Dick said.

“Is anywhere even open at this time of night?” Kon asked.

“It’s Gotham. You can always find ice cream if you know where to look,” Tim said.

“And I’m guessing you know where to look?”

Dick winked. “We totally know where to look.”

* * *

 

“Okay, see,” Dick said as they walked, “We have to optimize the ice cream orders. I’ve been thinking and--”

“Wait. Optimize...ice cream?” Kon said. He looked at Tim like maybe he could provide some explanation.

Tim shrugged. “It’s a Dick thing. We just roll with it.”

Dick blithely continued. “See, optimal ice cream orders mean that we each get what we like, but we also get variety. So Tim gets coffee, because it’s 4 am and I’m a little afraid of what will happen if I tell him anything else, and Conner gets salted caramel, and I get mint chocolate chip and cookie dough on top, because Tim is a filthy traitor who hates mint…”

“Hey!!!”

“You know it’s true Timmy.” Dick slung an arm around him. “So then the cookie dough won’t be contaminated. And then we all share bites, ‘cause it’s not like I haven’t swapped spit with y’all already.”

Tim wrinkled his nose. “Thank you for that phrasing.”

The bell above the ice cream shop door jingled as Conner pushed it open, holding it for his boyfriends.

“Thanks babe,” Dick said, bumping Kon’s shoulder with his. He walked to the counter and smiled at the woman--really closer to a girl--behind it. “We’re all gonna get waffle cones with double scoops. He’ll take two scoops of coffee, he’ll have two scoops of salted caramel, and I’m gonna go for--oh wait, Kon.” He turned towards Kon and threw an arm over his shoulders. “Is that okay?”

Conner shrugged. “Go for it.”

The girl behind the counter smiled. “You guys are so cute.”

Dick grinned back as she handed him the coffee cone. “Aw, thanks!” Tim walked up behind him as he held out the ice cream. “Here you go love,” Dick said. He slung his other arm around Tim and kissed the top of his head.

The girl blushed. “Oh sorry.. I thought you and HIM were…” She gestured to Dick and Kon. “Y’know.”

“We are!” Dick said, smiling even bigger.

The girl blushed even further. “Oh! Sorry...I thought that…”

“Dick, stop it,” Tim said, elbowing him. “He likes messing with people too much. Sorry my boyfriend is...well, a dick.”

“We’re all dating,” Kon said, finally taking pity on her.

“And I’m a lucky bastard.” Dick looked at each of his boys and smiled a smaller, softer smile.

* * *

 

“You’re such a jerk, Dick,” Tim said. They were sitting on the rooftop across from the ice cream parlor, Tim nestled snugly in Kon’s lap and Dick leaning up against Kon’s side, feet dangling off the edge. He leaned up and nipped Kon’s cone.

“I tipped her fifty bucks.” Dick ducked his head. “Sorry. I just. I wanna show you two off.”

“Who wouldn’t wanna show off Tim?” Kon said. He craned his head around to kiss Tim’s cheek, but Tim turned his head and met him halfway for a peck on the lips. Kon laughed. “Your lips are cold!”

“We can’t all be Kryptonian furnaces like you!” Tim snuggled a bit closer for warmth.

“Gimme some caramel?” Dick said, swapping his cone for Kon’s. “Do we ever wanna finish my movie after?”

“It’s scary!” Kon protested.

“What’re we watching?”.

“Pan’s Labyrinth!” Dick said.

“Ooo, I’ve been meaning to watch that for ages.”

“I know,” Dick said. “I’ve been trying to get you to. We could restart if you want? Kon was hiding for all the good parts anyway.”

Conner sighed as dramatically as he could. “What’s the good of a movie if it’s scary and you won’t make out with me during it?”

“We can make out after! It’s my favorite movie!”

“Don’t worry, Kon. I’ll protect you from the monsters,” Tim said.

“Me too!

Kon smiled. “Fine. After I finish my ice cream.”


End file.
